If Mister Leonardo DiCaprio’s Oscar win didn’t move you in the slightest bit- I’m not sure what will! I went to bed early Sunday night thinking I’d just wait to see the news of who won Best Actor in the morning. Mind you, I am not crazy for award shows at all, so this wasn’t a punishment of any sort. I can’t even name you an award show I’ve seen in full. But for some reason, I needed to know if our boy Leo was finally going to win and be recognized for his great work. After sleeping for a full 40 minutes, I woke up with my killer tension headache still intact and raced to the kitchen for some extra strength Tylenol. I decided to sit on the couch for an extra five minutes to let the Tylenol sink in and you know, “check in” on the Oscars. I was secretly hoping to catch the Best Actor announcement. Just as luck had it, I turned on the TV just as they were starting.

I suddenly felt a deep pit in my stomach, my heart started racing, I was literally at the edge of my seat (tail bone was starting to ache) and then I thought, who’s the nominee? Leo or myself? Or did I take 1 too many Tylenol capsules? And then, it’s just Julianne Moore and I. I’m telling her she better deliver good news or she’s getting the bottle of Tylenol launched at her. I knew it wouldn’t be her fault but she is the messenger of what we are all anticipating as good news. And then I snapped back into reality and hear… “And The Oscar goes to… [grin on her face]…Leonardo DiCaprio.” Sigh. Finally, he got what he deserved.

I really wish for a split second that I was a famous star and chosen to deliver that news. But hey, at least I got to witness a monumental time in cinematic history, even if I was half asleep rocking a bedhead fro. I’ll one day gush over this with my kids and they probably won’t care. But, aside from all this, there will always be people who say “who cares, it’s just an Oscar…there are more important things we should worry about”. True. But the statue, “Oscar” itself, represents a lot to those in that industry. It’s a token of hard work, a reflection of dedication, an achievement. It’s like your first gold star that you receive as a kinder tot in elementary school. But heavier. And has more value. Okay probably nothing close to it but you get the picture.

Of course, our boy Leo delivered one heck of an impeccable speech that I’m sure he’s reiterated numerous times over, he tied in awareness on climate change, a cause close to him and was just so humble and gracious. It was simply amazing. If Leonardo DiCaprio’s Oscar win taught us anything, it’s that patience is truly a virtue and hard work does pay off. Eventually. Although most of us won’t go home to a fancy house or have fans praising us for our accomplishments, we all have been in Leo’s shoes before. Or, still are.

This took me back to my journey into the advertising world. One that I didn’t think would ever exist. When I graduated high school way back when, I thought I had a clear vision on how life was going to unfold. For those of you who don’t know, I wanted to become a Child Psychologist. My true passion has always been psychology and sociology. I love studying the human mind, its functions, and attitudes of others. Even now, I catch myself being an observer. I changed career paths 3 months shy of my high school graduation. I made the decision after I completed an 8 month co-op opportunity at my old elementary school. I felt as though all the issues I was helping these children overcome, I brought them home with me. There wasn’t a minute in my own personal life that I was not thinking of these kids and how unfortunate their situations were. Although I wanted to help and be a voice for them, I didn’t want to live and breathe my job 24/7. I was just too emotional for the position.

One of the hardest decisions in my life was steering away from my passion. Knowing that I could have possibly helped hundreds or thousands of kids from unfortunate circumstances was a hard choice to make but one that I knew my future self would appreciate. I decided to follow a more creative path and before I knew it, I was sitting back row in my first advertising fundamentals class. I was glad that I took the three year program at one of the most respected colleges. It was everything I had hoped for and more in a post-secondary education. It felt like we were living and breathing the real advertising world and it got my creative juices flowing.

Shortly after I graduated college, life took yet again another turn that I wasn’t expecting. I ended up being on sick leave due to my thyroid cancer and had to be unemployed for several months.

I was upset. Disappointed. I felt an array of emotions during this time period. I wasn’t like my fellow classmates who had already landed entry level agency positions and attending lavish industry parties. Instead, I was desperately trying to find any job out there just to make money. I was tired of being at home, I was tired of feeling sick and I was tired of relying on my parents. Luckily, I was still young but I had high expectations for myself. Even during college I held down two jobs while studying. I needed to make my own money and a living for myself, it’s just the way I was programmed.

I finally landed a full time retail position, it wasn’t much but it was better than nothing. I worked every single shift they threw my direction and I even commuted to different cities. I worked week days, week nights, and weekends. I even achieved store goals and was recognized multiple times as “star seller of the month”. Who knew that my banquet waitressing skills could turn into, “would you like to see this sweater in another shade?” I was proud of myself. I may not have been where I wanted to be but I was excelling in my current position and that was enough for me at the time.

I finally decided to go back to school and get some more courses under my belt. I attended the University of Toronto to get a certificate in languages, specifically, French. I knew it would be an asset on my resume and although it would still set me back on finding my career sooner, I knew in the long run it would pay off. Think of the future Amanda, it will be worth it. Honestly, I don’t know how many times I repeated that phrase to myself. I still do.

Eventually I decided to find an office job so I can have more “legitimate” work experience on my resume. I had a friend at the time who was a receptionist at a moving / trucking company who passed along my resume to the director of special operations and the next thing you know, I was the assistant director of the unit. It was an admin position with a fancier title but hey, it was a more “grown up” job and the money was MUCH better. I still kept my retail job but it was exclusive to weekends only. Juggling my nine to five, my weekend job and school, I almost felt like super woman, without the cape and more tired.

I ran myself thin during those two years but in my eyes, I was focusing on the bigger picture. 6 months prior to graduating from my French program at U of T, I decided to quit my retail job. The manager at the time didn’t think it was “fair” that I had all the weekend shifts and couldn’t contribute to working on weekdays. What a joke. Considering most of the girls that worked at the store were younger and wanted their weekends free, to her that was a disadvantage. So I left the next day and gave them a same day notice. Totally out of the Amanda norm. See ya never, I said. That’ll teach them to appreciate their hard working employees!

Now with the retail job in the past, I had my weekends to focus on “the big picture.” I was motivated, passionate, and eager, I had the right attitude about all of it. I thought with my education, work and volunteer experience that the process would be painless and quick. But then days turned into weeks and weeks into months. I was getting the odd interview here and there but nothing more than that.

I was feeling down again. I was feeling the same emotions that my 2010 self-felt. I was looking at everyone around me, some have now already been promoted or moved on to bigger and better companies. I was still stuck in an industry I had no business being in. If I wanted to excel in this industry, I could make really good money, but it just wasn’t the right fit for me. Plus, I felt as though with all the money I put into my education- how could I even do that to myself? My mom worked way too hard to keep me out of student debt to just settle. So I searched some more and searched some more. I followed up, I asked around, I did everything possible to try and land an advertising gig but nothing.

I cried multiple times to G. He reminded me of how smart I was, that my dedication and hard work would pay off. He said something will come soon, just hang in there…be patient. Like most things in life, easier said than done. For my own personal sanity I decided to give job hunting a break for a couple of weeks.
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God knows what I actually did during those couple of weeks, but, it didn’t involve rereading a cover letter 20 times over. Chomping away at a junior chicken on my lunch one sunny winter morning, I received a phone call from what would eventually be my “future place of employment”. I was asked to come in for an interview and it was scheduled that I would come in two weeks later. First interview went great, followed by a second interview- also great, followed by a “we don’t think you were the exact fit for this position but we do have something in store for you in the future”. Sure, that’s what they all say, ends cliché.

Back at it again. Chugging away at my admin job, giving driver’s attitude but then sending them corky jokes via e-mail to better their long haul trips. Going home, feeling down about being so close yet so far. “Why do they have to lie to me and say they have something in store for me, just say it, you don’t want me”, I remember complaining to G about it day in and day out, God bless his soul. “Well, maybe they do have something for you – be positive!” Something I sometimes forgot to do. Think POSITIVE.

Months went by, winter turned into spring and I received a phone call from a boutique PR firm in the heart of Toronto. I called in sick for the next two days and went to their two day interview process. It was intense but right up my alley. I knew I “had it” before I even got there. I was feeling really good about this one. The position was for a 3 month paid internship with the possibility of a full time contract position. Take the plunge. They’ll love you and sign you on.

A week went by and I heard nothing from the firm. I triple checked my sent e-mail every day to ensure I didn’t mistype my phone number or anything of that sort. Two weeks went by and I already moved on thinking nothing of this. I received an e-mail at 11:00pm with the subject line “INTERNSHIP OPPORTUNITY: AMANDA DA SILVA”. I jumped out of bed and turned on the lights. I was jumping up and down like a damn fool making noise like a buffalo in the wild. My mom came upstairs thinking I fell to my death and asked what’s wrong? I just hugged her and said “I got the job”. We both started dancing and making noise like two buffaloes in the wild now. I cracked open my laptop and immediately logged on to read the e-mail on a large screen. They sent me a .pdf document to fill out and submit; I had 48 hours to accept the offer. I started typing faster than I’ve ever typed in my life- thanks Mavis Beacon. Suddenly, my happiness went from happy buffalo in the wild to a bear in captivity. “By accepting this contract, you agree to join a three month non-paid internship at xxx Communications.” What the fuck. I instantly closed the laptop and went to bed.

I followed up with the PR firm in the morning via phone call. I mentioned that I was under the impression – scratch that- they stated this was a paid internship and they replied that unfortunately they were unable to provide compensation at this time for the internship program but that there is still a possibility of a contract full time position after the three month period. I politely said thank you and hung up.

Here I was, battling time, literally. I had 38 hours to make a decision. I spoke to G and he told me not to go for it- he told me there would be better opportunities and how this one was just not realistic. Now 30 hours to go. I’m still thinking I can make it work. What if I get a weekend job and an evening job and make money that way? What if I get a really good bartender gig that it will pay for itself doing this internship for free? 20 hours to go. Still no decision. I am not even leaning towards a YES or NO. I am right down the middle with the same amount of pros as cons. 7 hours to go, I decline the offer.

Spring turned into summer and there I was still chugging away at my admin job. The PR stunt is now something I was able to laugh about even though it was only a couple of months fresh. I became well liked within my division, people enjoyed communicating and working with me, I even got to take on some projects that were outside of my “duties” – which was a great opportunity. Look, I was getting more experience. But, once these projects started to fade away, I’d started to slip into my funk, again and again.

I took what my friends, G and my parents said. Just think positive. When you least expect it, it will come to you. You have a great worth ethic, you’re friendly and you have the education to back it up. You excel at all your jobs Amanda, you’ll find something soon. Of course they were saying all of these wonderful things about me, they have no choice, they are my family and friends. They are supposed to butter me up during these tough times.

I still remember the day perfectly. It was mid-summer, abnormally hot in my corner nook of an office, we were seriously tucked in at the back of the building. I was getting ready for lunch- seemed to be the trend and I received a phone call from the VP of my future place of employment. “Hi Amanda, it’s xx from xx, we have your resume here on file and a position has opened up and we’d like you to come in for an interview”, something along those lines. I graciously accepted, I probably even said “yes” before she finished her sentence.

Fast forward a few days, I’m met with the same doors I was so eager to walk through 6 months earlier. This time, the air is warm, the sun is shining, and I probably got sun kissed on my walk from the car to the entrance. I arrived to my interview 10 minutes early just to allow a few minutes to myself. Everything is familiar in this lobby, nothing new about the smell, this would be my third interview here already. Third times a charm right? I had a great interview- yet again- this time in a different setting and more personal. I received a phone call the same day saying that I got the position and they needed me start at the downtown office in 9 days. As soon as I got back to my admin job the next day, I didn’t even think twice and signed off on the paperwork and faxed it over to xx. Finally, “I made it”.

It was bitter sweet to say goodbye to a place that was so good to me for so many years. I couldn’t even provide them with a full 2 weeks’ notice, but, because I had so much respect for them, I already had someone lined up to fill my position. I even went as far as creating a manual on how to use the system, FAQ and more. Plus, she was my younger cousin- I wouldn’t be hard to find.

4 months shy of my four year anniversary, I sit here observing how my position has changed at xx and the journey it took to work for Canada’s number one OOH company. There were days that I just wanted to give up. Perhaps the advertising world isn’t for me. There were days that I was bursting with motivation that I’d apply to jobs from 10 o’clock in the morning till 10 o’clock at night. There were times that I almost took positions at companies that I was settling for just to get my foot in the door. There were opportunities that I felt would be the only ones and became emotional over them because I didn’t get a call back or because it just financially didn’t make sense to accept.

It’s all part of growing up and following your dreams. It’s all about patience, timing and putting in hard work. Eventually the good will come, the appreciation, the recognition. It will all pay off and it will feel good. I don’t think my journey is over in the advertising world. I’ll probably experience some more bumps along the road and probably a lot of highs too. It will never be rainbows and ponies but we’ll make the best of it.

If I could offer any form of advice to those who feel as though they have given their all just to be “let down” or feel as though they are “stuck” – keep chugging away. You’ll need to put in the hard work, the long hours, you’ll need to put in the effort. Don’t ever give up and don’t compare yourself to others. I made that mistake back in the day, comparing my situation and what I was going through to others. Everyone has their own path to success and there will never be two of the same paths. Some may go down a smoother road, others will jump through hoops. All that maters is that YOU reach your goal and never give up along the way.

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